Desiree

With one semester of classes over and two more to go, I’ve been thinking a lot about my experiences so far in Tel Aviv, which has also led me to think about the experiences I brought with me upon my arrival. 

I arrived in Israel with a sort of naive optimism that has been a product of the life I’ve been fortunate enough to live so far. It’s my past positive experiences that have allowed me to approach this period of time in a similar light: as a once-in-a-lifetime chance to explore everything both around and within me.

And I’ve come to the not-so-profound realization that it’s the very mindsets we maintain, shaped by our past experiences, that in turn have a huge effect on the way that we encounter the new people, places and challenges we come into contact with. Our past experiences can instill an openness and optimism towards new ones.

Yet, this won’t always be the case, since life isn’t just a compilation of pleasant experiences. There are bound to be some bad ones, and that’s a natural part of the human experience. The danger seems to result from when we let these bad experiences reign over the attitudes and expectations we hold in the present and future, and how we come to view each progressive development in our lives.

Over the past four months, I’ve grown acutely aware of the number of people that have adopted a jaded state of mind, one that they might argue is realistic pessimism. Their mindsets have normally been the direct outcomes of difficult life experiences that have come to shape their embittered perspectives towards human nature, the prospects of finding solutions to decades-long conflicts, and the possibilities for fulfillment in work and relationships, among others.

The experiences that these people have faced have been painful, and very real. But it’s hard to watch someone who’s lost faith in something for good—themselves, life or others—whether they’re young or approaching old age. We’ve all experienced difficult moments at some point in our lives, although the frequency and magnitudes of these moments vary considerably from person to person. Despite the pain, these hardships become invaluable testaments to what we can overcome, and in many cases, become a part of who we are today.

To be sure, there’s no denying the incredible difficulty in keeping these experiences from gnawing away at the naive optimism we begin our lives with, or maybe never even had a chance to feel.

It’s so easy to be optimistic about my future while I’m living in my year-long Tel Aviv bubble, shielded from the pressure and competition of the job market. Yet, how would I feel if I had been back home instead, applying to job after job for months at a time, without any success? Would I be able to ignore the experience of rejection and the creeping sentiments of failure from the past months, and approach each job application with the same tenacity as the last?

I can be optimistic about meeting someone who’s right for me in the future, but would I be as optimistic if I had had negative experiences that had severely affected my view of guys, for the worst? If I had fallen madly in love with someone and been with them for years, only to realize that the relationship had been destructive for both of us, would I still remain optimistic about being able to do so again, and this time with the right person?

If I had watched a loved one die an untimely death, would I still be able to entertain the thought that there is some greater entity watching out for us, or some sort of reason in this world we live in? If the death had occurred as a result of human actions, would I be able to restore my faith in mankind?  

There’s an immense amount of strength one needs in order to overcome struggles like these, whether big or small, and avoid becoming jaded. It’s why I’ve come to have so much respect for those that have taken life’s hardships, in whatever form they may come, and fought past the strongholds of pessimism; they still have hope, and a lot of it. They remain optimistic about life’s possibilities, embracing each new experience and place and person that comes their way, despite the fact that they may still have scars from the last.

The writers this week have all had experiences that could certainly be defined as hardships or struggles in some way. Kevin was suddenly told that he needed to get surgery in order to avoid paralysis; Rachel overcame years of body issues, and heard words from her boyfriend that a girl should never have to hear; Vinit grew through the obstacles of teaching in a low-income community; and Meredith has struggled with watching her sisters battle depression and self-destructive behavior. 

These writers not only dealt with their challenges, but they also came out of them with restored faith, a renewed sense of self, opportunities for growth, and a crucial piece of knowledge that now guides their expectations of the future: that even if the past hasn’t been in their favor, or if everything isn’t currently okay … there’s still always the hope that it will be.